House Party VS. Bar/Club – The Full Breakdown
So guys its Friday night, you get 2 different calls from you friends. One call is telling you that a friend is having a huge open house with a keg and all. The second call promises of a night of dancing babes and an upscale good time. Its too bad you can’t do both, so which one do you choose?
the whole point of this topic is to explore the 2 most typical gaming fields that most high school kids and college kids will be a part of. I have had my share of both and started to think, how they are similar and different in regard to pros and cons? once I stacked them I up I realized that certain things in my game had to be changed in order to increase success at these gathering. Not so much big changes in the game itself, but mainly what is to be offered by the venue itself. The most striking difference in the House vs. bar comparison is the whole social dynamics of the scene. I will break it down in an easy way to understand.
First I will list the pros and cons, then follow them up with a detailed summary of the ideas/theories on the list.
The House party
:: Pros ::
- Economically better. No cover charges, expensive drinks or parking
- Easier to open sets. Less approach anxiety
- Easier comfort building. More isolation spots
- Less noise better hearing. Typically
- More of a laid back fun open atmosphere
When you roll up to a house party you are going there with a group of friends. Perhaps the guy throwing the party is a friend, or even a friend of a friend. The key is that you will most likely be introduced to your friend;s friends, therefore eliminating the need to run an opener. Its like you get to start at A2 each time you meet someone. But still be aware of your game (body language, routines and Kino), just cause you don’t have to open in the traditional sense doesn’t mean you should abandon your discipline. Mostly likely your friend will then scatter into other sets, which are mixed with people you know and don’t know. So since your friends will be in sets that the party, your approach anxiety should be minimal. Plus this is a great time to use multi-threading, improvisation, and any other routine. Since you and your friend are familiar with each other, topics to talk about should be flying around, such what you guys did last weekend. You can still open set with strangers in the normal sense and still have great things to talk about, such as who do you know at the party. Having a core group of friends there takes off some pressure. Plus at most house parties it is easy to join sets that are playing typical drinking games, just join in and have fun.
Comfort building is also facilitated. A house party will offer many spots to isolate the target. Anywhere from a quite couch in the living room or the kitchen will make a great spot. Since the party people will be scattered finding a good quite isolation spot is easier. Also moving the from her set into a comfort build spot will be easier do to the more laid back environment working with you. Her friends are more apt to let you to be alone knowing that you two can’t just run away in the house. Plus your social proof will make you some what more trusting in the sense that you have been very social the whole night, from when you walked in and gave all your friends pounds, to when you are seen making everyone laugh in the kitchen.
In conclusion, the whole house party atmosphere is typical very fun and open. You have a lot of social proof, plenty of ways to beak the ice, much support of your friends and a quite environment. The biggest advantage of the house party over the club is the lack of loud music. How many times have you tried to run an opener at a loud bar, only to hear back what she said. You will not have to peck, or repeat yourself 10 times; this will all help you avoid inadvertent DLV (demonstration of lower value).
:: Cons ::
- Higher chance for a sausage fest. Many more guys then girls (target poor)
- Smaller margin of error. Bombing a set will be more crippling to social proof.
- Higher chance of the friend-zone trap. This concept involved when you meet a friend of a friend.
The ultimate fear of any house party is a lack of girls; also know as a sausage fest. When the ratios of girls to guys are something like 1:8, there is going to be a lot of tension in the air. Basically when you go to a bar/club it almost a 95% chances that there will be enough girls to game, you even figure there will be a bunch of AFCs just standing around doing nothing. But for some reason a house can easily succumb to the horrors of a sausage fest, the whole social dynamic changes once it’s a sausage fest. The girl’s protective shield becomes stronger; she can’t hook up with all the 12 guys there. Therefore, the few girls that are there are then reduced to a pieces of meat that all these guys are fighting over. Ultimately the girl will become very selective do to all the guys trying to game her. She will get sick of all these guys hitting on her every 5 minutes and shut down.
At a bar or club, if you bomb a set really bad, I mean just mad a complete ass of yourself, you can simple walk away like nothing ever happened. In a packed out bar/club, guys are getting shut down left and right, but you never notice it do you, because some many things are going on at once. Music, lights, people everywhere, and hot babes like on adultfrienedfinder walking around. So when you mess up your social proof it’s not diminished since your next set you open will most likely not seen you get shut down. Its like starting fresh at each approach. But at a house party since it will be a lot less congested then a bar/club, you screw ups will be much more noticeable. At a house party with 30 people, lets say they break off into like 8 different sets. If you just bomb a set in front of another set, once you try and open the other set, you do so with the added baggage of lower value. So at a house party you will have fewer opportunities to open brand new people, since you will be mingling with the same 30 people. So you need to make every set count. Once screw up can cost you on future sets.
Another set back of the house party involves when you meet a friend of a friend. Lets say you meet one your friend’s good girlfriend( a girl who is just a friend). You and her are hitting it off, you guys hook up and then thats it. Now this causes drama in your circle of friends. Now that girl can start to complain to your friend about you, about how you played her and what not. A theory I have is on a defense mechanism that the girl will put up to avoid this drama. They will try and put you in the friend zone a lot faster then normal to avoid any future drama that a relationship with you could lead to. So say you two going out for say a month, then it ends up at sour. now your friend will be torn between hanging out with you or her, this can lead to a bunch of drama filled paths that I can’t even make a list out of.
:: Pros ::
- will be typical have many girls (target rich)
- A great field for overall practice
- Great place to watch and observe other PUAs
- You have a huge margin of error. Bomb on one set, just move to another.
- it’s an upbeat high energy location
The clubs and bars are the ultimate battlefield for PUAs, its like what a football field is for a quarterback. When you go to a bar you will be surrounded by a large amount of potential targets. So go ahead and go approach them with you new stack of routines. If you bomb a set like mentioned before, hey just leave the set and try and open a set like 10 minutes later. You need to say that you will never see this person again if you happen to fail the game; you have an array of targets to practice game on. This is the place where you will see what openers stick and witch ones bomb. Here is where you can see how far you can take a set through your DHV stories and threads. Basically you have nothing to lose, and all to gain.
Hey guess what? You’re not the only one gaming at this venue. I like to take time out to see how all the other guys are doing. I will watch a guys success or failure, and then I assess what went wrong for him and what went right, think about what you would have done differently. Study how a PUA works a group, how his body language speaks out, see what IOIs they are sending him. Basically if you learn to see these thing with other peoples pick up, it will become second nature in your own game.
As mentioned before you have a huge margin of error. Your failure of an earlier set will not affect your value of the next set you open assuming they didn’t see you get shutdown. Even if you did get shut down, its so loud in the club that they don’t even know what you guys even said to each other, you could have asked her the time? The beauty of this type of venue is it cuts you some much slack on practicing game. This is also a great place to practice advanced techs like pawning, forward and backward merging and advanced Kino.
In conclusion, this is the testing field, the game arena, and main event all rolled up into one. This is where you really go to see how you game has gotten better. Not only that once you get into the groove of the club/bar it can be a really fun place, as it is meant to be. Just remember you at a social gathering, so socialize.
:: Cons ::
- Depending on the venue. Finding a quite comfort building/isolation spot will be harder to find.
- will most likely be very noisy due to loud music. The noise will make talking and listening difficult.
- Approach anxiety will be more prevalent
- Economically worst. You will spend money there money one way or another.
Of course all is not perfect. You main problem will be the ease getting the target away from her group of friends for comfort building. Its always possible to isolate the target from her group in any venue if your game is tight, its just the matter of subtly of the venue. Guys are there to score with the ladies, and the girls are most likely aware of that plan. So if you do not win over the obstacles first, her friend will protect your target by blocking you. We have seen a guy approach a girl, only to have her whisked away by her friends just shortly after. Also if the venue you are at is very packed out, you have trouble trying to find a good place to sit and build comfort. How are you going to move her to the couch if its all packed out. Still there are other spots for you guys to build comfort regardless.
The biggest killer of game is the loud music. It will be very hard for people to hear you when you run your opener. This will lead to you DLV when you are forced to take poor body language stance such as leaning in and repeating yourself. The ideal stance is that you are slightly leaning back in the set you are opening rather then leaning in. plus running your lines and stacks will be tough when you are hearing your target say, what I can’t hear you; every 5 seconds. A lot of people say that you can learn to read lips better or simple just try to game an area that is not being bombarded with sound.
When you roll up to a bar/club, you will most likely know only 5% of the people there, that will on be who you came with or met up with there. The only people you will be gaming are pure strangers, so it is expected that you have more of an approach anxiety. At the house party you could just wander into a set that you friend was in and just join in or just get introduced to some new people formally. At the bar/club your going to have to rely on your game 100%. You are going to have to make all the magic happen, from your openers, to your NEGs, to your DHV stories and threading. Just remember that you have nothing to lose.
So know you see the social dynamics of each type of gathering. What is not a solid rule, but rather an observation that I have made. Based on what I have presented I want you guys to just see how the how venue offers different advantages and disadvantages to your game. Ultimately your success will not depend on where you go, but how tight your game is. I just wanted to explore the difference in the two scenarios.
If you have to choose one or the other.
Go to a house party if…
- You just want to have a fun time with all your friends
- You want to practice game under a lower pressure atmosphere
- You want to look for LTR or Hook up
Go to a club/bar if…
- You want to really give your game a good practice
- Want to dance, drink and bag number all in the same night
- you want a quick hook up or bag a bunch of number then decide what to do
Just remember you can have success any where you go.
Thanks for the time,