I often wish words would and could just do what they say they do. I wish words could just be what they say they are. I wish words could fix my reality to their syllables instead of ME having to fix my reality to their syllables.
Read MoreBefore you start to think that this is just a lawyer-problem, I ask you to think about how these mental models show up in your own daily life. How many of you–no matter how deep in connection with someone you might be–lose that connection when conflict comes along? How many of you know that fun-house mirror experience where that person suddenly becomes foreign and strange, the “other” who “did” something to you? You forget how or why you ever trusted them. In that moment, you stop relating to them as a live human being, and start relating to the mental model.
Read MoreThrough OM, we learn to get out of our heads, and into our bodies. We let go of the idea that we can know what’s ahead. We embrace the reality that we are walking step-by-step into an unknowable future. Instead of “figuring things out,” we navigate the world by sensation. Instead of logic, we use feel. We learn to get down and dirty into the mud of direct experience.
Read MoreThe complicatedness of relatedness comes from what’s underneath the surface. The emotional landscape. For most it is a barren wasteland of memory, fears, pain, trauma, and things left unexamined, unhealed. When you are falling for someone’s eyes, the way their mouth moves when they talk, and all the things that create your perfect little fantasy world, and not paying attention to who this person is down under… it is no wonder most women are stupified when they are crying to me, he’s not who I thought he was.
Read MoreMost of you, women, stop at surface.
Is he good looking? What kind of car does he drive? What does he do for a living? How much money does he have? Is he what I want aesthetically? Is he intelligent? Can he take of care of me? Will he protect me? Will he take me out and treat me right? Will he boost my image? Will he be good in bed? Does he have the same hobbies and interests in me? Can he be my dream man?
Read MoreMy ex came back in to be friends again recently. He is in opposition to me, almost always. Like magnets that push away. His pole is realism, (I call it dire pessimism), and mine is…unicorns (he calls it a bullshit fantasy land). I was obsessed with him for six years of volatile acrimony.
Read MoreWhen I had completely let go of everything between us was – of course – the very moment when the molten electric liquid flooded in.
Our sex was always intimate, always hot and unexpectedly thrilling, but this time it cut deeper. I felt like I had accepted the worst and he had accepted the worst and still the desire between us came alive and demanded to be given full access. I knew that I was willing to stay open and go all-in no matter what our relationship was changing to but I did not think that he would let go without the handrails of safety we had had in place. But he did.
Read MoreThere was a moment when he opened back up again and his sex flooded into my body like molten electric liquid, filling me up slowly, lighting up my cells, causing me to almost weep with gratitude for the enlivening sensation of his touch, for the shutting down of my brain and the complete take-over of my body. Like a fish being returned to the sea after having been caught on dry land, everything realigned and made sense again. This is who I am inside of my sex. All of me is able to come out and my body is revealed as being made for this, made for touch, made to be taken and fucked. Every curve of me and the way I naturally move, the shape of my face, the darkness in my eyes, the fall of my hair: all were made for this, for this sinuous, liquid, formless place of feeling-without-thought, where intuition and desire are king.
Read MoreMost who are drawn to me enjoy adventuring into the caverns of the psyche, the underbelly of our inner workings. I like excavating. Turning things over, deconstructing. My mind works like a conceptual archeologist, wielding a dusty paintbrush and magnifying glass, sometimes a pick, with little numbers on pins that map the position of each element in an idea’s skeleton. My favorite brain activity is to determine the structural integrity of paleolithic schemas and tear them apart to find where their bones truly belong.
Read MoreMany men have considered the possibility of swinger relationships. If you are interested in this type of lifestyle, I think it is appropriate that you know the advantages and disadvantages of it. Should you decide an open relationship is what you are interested in, I provide my advice on making it happen.
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