KVM Info

I recently joined dating site, and I’m trying to figure out how to write my profile. I am attracted to all kinds of women but especially those with well-formed and well-cared-for feet. I find women’s feet to be sexy… very sexy. While I appreciate feet, they’re definitely not the most important thing for me in a partner because I am looking for a serious relationship and don’t need to be with someone who likes having her feet touched. A woman’s personality is much more important at the end of the day. So should I even mention it in my ad or do you think it would scare otherwise great women away?

My free profile wasn’t getting much attention, so I changed one detail (I subtracted eight years from my age) and started having better luck. My question is this: Should I tell the people I meet the truth, and if so, when? Should I wait until we are in a relationship?

Dear Ron,

I can’t seem to hold on to a boyfriend for more than a few months, although each one tells me I am the most beautiful and personable woman they have met in a long time. It seems to me that most men will be dishonest about their feelings to obtain premature intimacy and when it doesn’t take place in a short period of time, they dump the woman with no explanation. I have been so disappointed by this behavior in men that I don’t believe anything a man says and have been thinking about not dating any longer.

I am a 50-year old woman who, like a lot of Americans, has a weight problem. I am changing that, but at the present I need to lose a lot more. I find myself getting discouraged because most of the men whose profiles I have looked at in my age range want a slim/slender woman. Some of these men don’t care about language, ethnicity, smoking habits or even if she is from three to six feet tall, as long as she is skinny. It makes me want to scream out, “If you want a Barbie doll, shop at Toy R Us!”

Online dating tends to make us very goal-oriented. We fill out a free profile and outline our perfect man or woman. He should be a tall non-smoker who knows how to cry. She should be a slim social drinker who appreciates jazz.

Other members’ profiles seduce us as we read them. Blond hair — check. Interesting, artsy job — check. Loves R&B — check.

You’ve become a member of an excellent online dating Web site. You surfed through all the excellent profiles. You found an excellent one written by a seemingly excellent woman. You wrote her an excellent first email. You received an excellent response. You wrote her a super-excellent second email. You received a super-excellent second response.

New to the online dating scene? Worried about compromising your privacy? You’ll be happy to know you’re not alone. Users new to the world of online dating report fear of exposure as one of their number one concerns with using the internet. Fortunately for you there are quality providers who recognize your very valid concerns and have taken broad steps to ensure their services respect your anonymity.

Is online dating safe?

We’ve all seen the sensationalist news reports. The way sweeps-week TV shows portray it: Online dating is either a sea of married men pretending to be single, unusually kinky or unsavory characters and pasty-faced internet addicts who haven’t left their homes in months. Even people who are engaged in online dating sometimes joke that if they meet their true loves online, they’ll have to lie to their friends about how they met. But as more and more perfectly normal singles become perfectly normal couples after meeting online, the truth is becoming clear: this new technology is just one more route to good old-fashioned romance.

When filling out your profile on an online dating site, it’s often easy to get carried away and feel like you’re ordering your perfect date from an a la carte menu. With an image in your head of your ideal match, you start clicking check boxes and making selections. But these choices could prevent a potentially good match, even someone who fits your criteria exactly, from responding to your profile. Before you post your profile, think about what others might imply from your selections, and whether or not your choices are carved-in-stone requirements, or more negotiable preferences.

I’ve heard a lot of people griping that they didn’t get responses, or the kind of responses they wanted, from their personal ad. Granted, there’s a lot of people out there who will write to anyone, compatibility be damned! But there’s also some little things you can do to make your ad perform better. Let’s examine a few common pitfalls.