When Her Ex Still Has A Place In Her Heart
Stephane,
My girlfriend’s ex lives very far away, from what I hear
from her, he loves her very much and will do anything
for her. Our relationship is growing by the day, but as
we grow together she tells me she can’t let go of him,
that I’m in her heart completely, but there’s still a
tiny sliver with him. She asks me “what should I do?”.
I know I should’ve said something like “He’s gone, it’s
us now!”. He’s been calling nonstop for a week or so now,
which is driving her nuts.
Any ideas? Many thanks.
MY COMMENTS:
First of all, being unable to let go of a past relationship
is usually just a sign that there are some LESSONS that
we need to learn.
I would probably have her focusing on those lessons.
It is also wise to view this sort of thing as a test. In this
case, a neediness test.
I say things to girls like, “You need CLOSURE with this guy.
You owe it to yourself to go and see if his Heart beats with
yours more than mine does. I don’t want to own you, and if
you decide to be with him, I’ll be happy for you both. Perhaps
you can bring him by the house someday, so I can shake his
hand.”
I say stuff like that to girls, and I say it congruently,
honestly, sincerely.
I’m not needy, because Existence takes care of me anyway. If
I am meant to be alone for a long “dry spell”, I just roll
with it. I am my own best companion anyway, so it’s all good.
“I trust the universe to supply my abundance of p*ssy” is
just my humorous way of talking about non-neediness.
You will notice that the moment you let go, and surrender
your Heart to Existence, letting go of all neediness, women
will seriously come knocking, they’ll be POUNDING your door
down, because every other guy on adultfrienedfinder tries to own them, every man
simply reduces women into things, into his property.
Neediness, it’s really the biggest turn-off.
Whatever you do, don’t let a woman see that you feel
threatened by other men, ever.
And by the same token, I suggest that you don’t ever tell
women that you will WAIT for them to change their minds.
It’s just more neediness, disguised as strength, and women
intuitively know we’re “full of it” whenever we say idiotic
things like, “I’ll be right here, waiting for you”.
That makes for a great love song, but a very crappy love
life.
Also, you can always teach her the “decision grid” from the
GTP Manual, to help her decide ON HER OWN what she should do.
I would also challenge her to ask her own Heart what she
should do, because the answer is right there waiting for her
to listen, or FEEL the answer rather… If you know about
Chakras, then you know exactly how to help a woman open her
Heart in an instant. As long as she’s willing, it’s fairly
easy to do.