Man Eater
First of all I would like to congratulate you on this great site, it’s got alot of useful advice. My problem is that there is this one girl that I’m supposed to be with, I like her alot and think of her the most out of all the others, but recently everytime we set a day aside to meet up she flops. Basically this is my story… (it’s a long one so you might wanna make a cup of tea or something..)
This girl was in a relationship thing with my friend but she broke up with him cause they hadn’t talked to each for a month, so during that time I had been talking to her alot, and in a conversation I was having with her one day she just said she has something to say to me but I might not like it and then when I asked what it was she just dismissed it and said it doesn’t matter and she will tell me another time, I kept talking to her and one day I was on msn and put up on my screen name ‘Why am I feelin someone I can’t have?’ and she messaged me immediately asking what I meant by the name. It was’nt targeted at her it was actually aimed at another girl I was dealing with at the time. So I just said I can’t say and kinda lead her on to see what she would say and she kept asking for days afterwards.
So I finally said to her straight up I kinda like you and I realized that I actually did, it’s just I was stopping myself because of my friends relationship with her. So she told me that she had liked me from the first time she had met me when my friend introduced us. Then we decided that we would get together on a date but I made the mistake of bringing friends that knew my other friend (the one that had been with her recently) and the date was a disaster because i felt awkward and didn’t really talk to her much, after she was angry at me and sent me a txt saying that maybe we should forget this me and her thing. I sorted things out with her that night and we hooked up the next day and everything was great and I met her a couple of times after that and things were good still. After the 4th date she kept asking what we were as a couple and I just said lets take this slow and we’ll see, she told me straight she wants me to be her man but she understands. This was on my mind the next day and I ended up telling her in a conversation that day that I want her to be my girl as well and that we might as well make it official, so we did.
This is when most of the problems began , like when I ask her to come meet me she would say yeah and on the day she would text me saying I’ll call when I’m about to leave and she wouldn’t. She would not answer her phone on some occasions, or she would txt to say she cant come. At times she would pick up the phone and hang up when she heard my voice or hand it to a friend to tell me that shes gone to the bathroom. The next day she would txt or call to apologize and say that she really likes me and she really wants to see me and we would arrange another day to meet up and that would flop again.
This happened for a good month or so and I got really pissed with her and when I said to her that I wanna break up with her she was almost shocked and started saying that she really likes me and that we should talk about it and that she doesn’t want to lose me, so I let her sweet talk me and thought we could work things out. She told me that she had problems but she couldn’t tell me and that nobody understands her when she tells them. I also found out that my friend that was in a relationship with her before was getting his friends to prank call her and basically just call her every bad thing you could possible say to a girl to hurt her.
I asked her if that was the reason why she didn’t want to see me again and she said not really and she doesn’t care what they say she still likes me and thats that.. but yet again we arranged to see each other and that flopped and so I was really pissed and didn’t call her for a week or so but I sent her an email saying that we should just be friends and nothing more. I tried to move on and started seeing another girl and she messaged me about a day after asking if I had a a new girlfriend, I told her straight that I’m seeing somebody at the moment but she isn’t my girlfriend. She seemed really surprised and sai she didnt think I would do that… I asked if we are supposed to still be with each other and she said that it doesn’t matter no more cause I’ve moved on. Later that night she txts me saying that she still really likes me and she cant believe what I have done but she’ll be ok.
So the next day I tell her I still like her and I still wanna be with her and she tells me what I already know and what shes told me a million times, but she still wont tell me this problem she says is stopping her from seeing me. I decide that I won’t call her as much (infact I didn’t call at all) but all through that week she calls me every night and she even txts me that she loves me when I sent a simple romantic txt.. and we arrange to meet up and unsurprisingly the same thing happens .. SHE FLOPS AGAIN!! I don’t call her to ask why and decide not to call her for a while and she txts me 2 days after asking if she can see me that night, I call her and say that I can’t and make a lame excuse cause I’m still angry about the last broken date.
That night I talked to her over phone and ask her when is the next time she wants to see me and we’ve set a date aside but I’m getting really fed up with her now and I’m completely confused about if she really likes me, and why she doesn’t want to see me anymore but she keeps calling me. I really do like her or else I would have moved on a long time ago, I don’t understand my situation with her, WHAT SHOULD I DO?? Please help me…
Hi David,
I’ve seen my fair share of strange behavior from women on adultfriendrfinder, but DAMN… is this girl nuts? She must have a few screws loose to stand you up that many times but still want to call you and hold on, how many times did she do it again? I think I lost count around 3 or 4. Most girls like to play games sometimes, but for the average girl it’s more like a “hobby”… this girl your talking about sounds like shes made a career out of it, masters degree and all, lol.
By now you probably know where I’m going with this… I mean I could give you advice on how you could get around this problem and make her start showing up, but if I did that I would only be setting you up for the next trick that she’s got up her sleeve, then you’ll be back here asking me how to fix that new problem. Do you really wanna deal with all that when you obviously have the skills to get other girls that are normal… and probably even one that is twice as good? Didn’t think so.
My best advice is ; delete her number from your phone, forget her name and move on. She is the type of girl that likes to play games with guys and she doesn’t really care about your feelings. I’ve seen this type of girl a thousand times, they like to get with guys and play mind games, then when they drain all of your energy and import a fair share of headaches and chaos into your life they are gone and have moved on to their next victim before you even know they are gone. She said that she liked you from the minute she met you… but wasn’t she going out with your friend at the moment she met you? Wasn’t it him that introduced you two? Yup. She had already selected you as her next man before she was done with the last… what makes you think she wouldn’t (or already hasn’t) done the same thing to you?
Move on man, it’s not worth it… trust me.