I thought girls wanted to date nice, polite guys
I got a message from a former client today. He told me Merry Christmas, and thanked me for all the good things that have happened in his life this year because of what he learned at our workshop.
When I first started to get my “game” together with women, I had no idea this is where I would end up. I took a workshop cause I had some extra money after a fairly good financial endeavor, and I wanted to treat myself. Before that I had spent many hours reading and studying what I thought were the ways of the true “pickup artist.”
I was completely ready to be sleazy to “go out and get some chicks.” I had an internal struggle with this for many years.
I thought girls wanted to date nice, polite guys. I was about 30 or 40 pounds lighter than I am now, and I exercised on (what for me) is a fairly consistent basis.
And I dated some super women! A few of them were extremely attractive. But I was never really satisfied with my level of personal comfort. Actually, at times, I hated myself. I’d wake up in the morning and I’d wish I were someone else.
But this last year has really changed a lot about me. I’ve been working for Charisma Arts since about February, and, literally, my whole life has changed. The outside is still pretty much the same. I still don’t clean my car or my living space very often. And I didn’t master the guitar rhythm piece for Metallica’s “One” (James Hetfield’s a badass rhythm player, no matter what you want to say about the bands current incarnation).
But my insides are a lot different. I’ve made some pretty ballsy moves, for me. I’ve been all over the country, several times, teaching workshops to frustrated guys seeking direction just like I was. I even went to England to do a workshop! Had a blast over there, but it’s basically the same story as it is over here.
“How do I move forward?”
That’s what our clients want to know. That’s what I wanted to know! I wasn’t able to comfortably talk with any attractive girl I saw on adultfrinendfinder, and I sure didn’t see my ever increasing sexual frustration going away. And on top of it, I didn’t really have any friends that I felt connected to with whom I could discuss my issues. None that I felt would really understand me.
Now I have a boss who supports me and my ideas. He tells me I’m a great writer. And he puts faith in my decisions. Thank you Wayne. I have a crazy friend from Michigan who has taught me that being fun is less about what I say, and more about showing up with a smile. Thank you Kory. I have a friend with whom I have the most interesting conversations I’ve had in recent memory.
He also supports and pushes me to take what he calls “positive risks” when I feel afraid or unworthy. Thank you Judson. I have a friend who I’ve gotten to watch grow into a strong leader. And who seems to know everything in the world about sports. I can fake a conversation with my dad just from what I’ve learned hanging out with him. Thank you Matt.
I’ve got another friend who is probably the most articulate hippy in the world. He’s taught me, and many, many others about confidence and being genuine. Thank you Johnny. I’ve got another friend who, though somewhat quiet, has given me some of the deepest insights I’ve had all year. He really helped me this year when I was having a bit of an existential crisis. Thank you Chad.
I’ve got another friend who tells me stories about the beauty of Colombian women, and doesn’t get too ruffled when I make Canadian jokes, hey? Come back soon, Eric. I’ve got another friend who I’m missing working with right now. We walked around NYC and played tourist one day. We made fun of everything we could like the comedy yokels we are. And then we saw the sight of the WTC, and we just stood there in silence. I was sad for those moments. But his presence gave me a feeling of strength and support. Thank you Rick. We miss you.
I’ve got another friend, who, though I haven’t seen him in a while, teaches me, via his blogs, what to say when I want to escalate sexually. Good stuff Dan. Keep it up. People ask about you every time I do a workshop. I’ve got another friend who’s a crazy Russian superman that knows everything about everything. Thanks for being with us Dimitri.
And I’ve got another friend in merry-ol-England who just got accepted (yea!) into a nationally recognized university. Congratulations Lockey. And I’ve got another friend who makes sure I have a plane ticket and a place to stay whenever I get to where I’m going. Val, you’re the greatest.
There are a few of you I haven’t formally met yet. Troy, Harry, Kate, and Ben I’m looking forward to spending time with all of you. Stay safe this holiday season. Landen, Josh, and Gerard. I’m glad youâ€™re with us. You guys are the anchor for our little community. Thank you for your efforts and inspiration.
And to all the girls and guys that I met along the way, thanks for having fun with us. To the ladies who I creeped out, sorry about that. I was demonstrating for a client, and I was too much in my own head. I’ll be more genuine the next time we meet.
And a special thank you to all of the men I worked with this year. Men from all over the world who incurred significant costs to come be with us. I hope you had fun. I hope your lives have changed. I hope you have great people in your lives like I do. Full commitment.