Romance – Why Does It Disappear From A Relationship?
Romance Destroyers. Here PEOPLE RELATIONSHIP DATING finds out what factors destroy romance in a relationship.
Firstly, let’s consider this question: What Is Romance? Simply put, it is many things to many people – let’s find out how to define it.
Ask a 100 different people what it is, and you will get 100 different answers.
One person’s idea of what makes something romantic, may not fit together with another persons idea of what is or isn’t romantic.
Therefore, it’s a very personal view, with some generalities. For example, some gestures are universally accepted as being romantic, such as sending flowers, chocolates, a man getting down on one knee when proposing etc.
But when it comes to things on a more day to day basis, it’s much more self defined.
So here’s the PEOPLE RELATIONSHIP DATING definition:
Romance Is Whatever You Believe It To Be
In other words, you have to PUT YOUR ROMANCE GOGGLES ON in order to SEE something as romantic, otherwise even the most romantic gesture from your partner is in vain. Please take a second to think about what has just been said. LET IT SINK IN. It’s a very important concept.
Then read on…
Ok, now… Let’s take a look at a dictionary definition of the word taken from the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary (Online version). Click HERE to view the definition online at CALD website.
Definition romance (LOVE) noun
- 1 [C] a close, usually short relationship of love between two people
- 2 [U] when you feel love and sexual attraction for someone
- 3 [U] the feeling of excitement or mystery that you have from a particular experience or event
- 4 [C] a story about love
- 5 [C] a story of exciting events, especially one written or set in the past
(source: Cambridge Advanced Learners Dictionary Online )
The entry for romance in the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary (online) is almost identical. You can look that up HERE. Now here’s the MOST important thing about both definitions, Cambridge and Oxford.
First another look at the Cambridge Advanced Learners Dictionary Definition.
The very first entry for ROMANCE:
1 [C] a close, usually short relationship of love between two people
For ease of comparison I will put the first entry for ROMANCE as in the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary here too:
ro•mance noun, verb noun
1 [C] an exciting, usually short, relationship between two people who are in love with each other
Did you notice?
They BOTH use certain words “usually short”, “relationship”, “in/of love”.
So here is the million dollar question:
If ROMANCE occurs between two people who love each other and are in a close relationship, and it is filled with excitement; WHY, OH WHY IS IT USUALLY SHORT?
To find out, probably the best way to do that is to examine some of the reasons that it dies.
Let’s take a look.
Usually, it is a combination of some of, or all of the factors I am going to list below, that kill the romance in a love relationship.
Occasionally, it can be a single cause.
Remember, for every action, there is a reaction.
It’s easy to blame it on your man and say, “well at first he was romantic, but then he just became boring/less romantic”.
Remember, you are also sharing in this experience.
Make sure your attitude towards him isn’t changing to cause that change in him.