War Declared! The Enemy: Approach Anxiety
I remember wanting to talk to this really pretty girl one time. I finally got the nerve to go say hello to her. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing. Every insecure thought i’ve ever had about myself was going through my head weakening my resolve by the moment. I get within earshot of this girl and her friend when she looks up at me and smiles a bit. I return her smile as i walk closer. She looks back at her drink in front of her as i am now only a foot or two from them. Then as if guided by some unforeseen force my feet don’t stop. I continue walking by her without a word and go right into the bathroom as quickly as I can. I am mortified at my lack of a spine. When i gain my composure I settle up my tab and walk out of the bar in shame.
Ever done the walk by before? Most of us have.. It is that evil approach anxiety overwhelming us the moment we are about to commit to talking to someone. What is it about approaching a stranger that is so anxiety provoking? Are we afraid of rejection? Or possibly we are just afraid of the unknown and things we can’t control such as the very dynamic situation of meeting someone new. The bottom line is that it is approach anxiety that prevents us from achieving our goals of being social people and meeting new friends and relationships on adultfrinendfinder. So we must wage war against it. I hereby declare war on approach anxiety ! Now it is time to map out our battle plan.
I have always had approach anxiety. It never really goes away. It really hasn’t gone away even now that I am an Instructor and do it for a living. However it has gotten less. That first approach of a weekend is still very difficult for me though. I don’t let on to the clients i am teaching but it is. I wish i had a secret technique to teach how to get over approach anxiety, i don’t. However this is our battle plan to vanquish that evil enemy of Approach Anxiety
We will assemble our troops and coerce ourselves into a good mood before every night we go into battle. We will do so by listening to our favorite music, calling a talkative friend, or watching a funny movie.
We will recruit sympathizers with our cause by talking to anyone and everyone we find friendly. This includes guys, women we are not attracted to, and especially people who work in the venue we are waging our war. This will arm us with that talkative friendly vibe, our ultimate weapon.
Our battle plan here is to consistency. We will not let more than two weeks go by without doing a cold approach. This will ensure that we don’t lose ground we have fought so hard to regain.
Southern Front: If needed we will drop all expectations about the first approach of the night. If it goes well it is a victory, if it goes poorly it was our “throw away” set, just a warm up. Then we will head straight to battle and not allow ourselves to retreat until victory is ours.
We will work on our self confidence at all times. We will remember that we don’t know that extremely beautiful woman, she may be cruel to small animals, or be completely devoid of redeemable morals. We will not put anyone on a pedestal above us and make it more difficult for ourselves. We will always remember WE are the high value person and they want to talk to us, they just don’t know it yet.
Only when the battle against approach anxiety is waged on all of these fronts without retreat will the war be won. Just don’t forget this enemy is insidious and must be watched at all times. Never let the battle against this enemy escape from our vigilance. So wage this war with all your might my comrades….